Dooce’s Recap: Nina Drops a Piano on Courtland’s Head
Welcome to the new season of Design Star where the competition has moved back to New York CIty, what Vern Yip refers to as the “epicenter of design.” I don’t know what he’s talking about, because last I checked Jasper, Alabama was on the tip of everyone’s tongues. But I guess New York will do.
The 12 designers meet and learn about their first challenge: the white rooms.
Twelve new designers, all with varied backgrounds, some formally schooled, others who found inspiration building pig troughs (those things are darling), under pressure to impress the judges — Vern Yip, Genevieve Gorder and Candice Olson — to become host of their own TV show. And already I get the sense that Vern means business. Like, yes, the two women beside him are taller by three feet, but who’s doing the voice-over?! THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT.
Spoiler Alert! If you don’t want to know what happened, please don’t click through.
Nina organizes her finds from the Asian market. Cue the umbrellas.
First competition: Each designer is paired with another designer, someone they have never met and they have to design a white-box bedroom for that person, based on their personality. Budget: $500. The catch is that it all has to be spent at an Asian market. OH MY LOLA. Is it just me, or do I sense a glut of Kimonos, umbrellas and paper lanterns? Seriously, if someone glues kimchi to a wall I may have to leave the room.
Contestants are being really friendly, but we all know how short-lived this will be given the pressure. And the fact that these people are designers. Because creative people have difficulty with the part of their brain that controls reason.
Oh, and only one hour to shop? Who made up these rules? It could take YEARS to choose a paint color. I’m not even even competing and I want to throw up. So much pressure! Do they get a massage when this is done? A hug, maybe?
Already we start to see contestants with weaknesses…. Alex forgets a pile of merchandise, and there goes half of his room. Alex, under that kind of pressure, I’d forget my own name. And oh no, Courtland is using pink paint with a faux finish. Please! No faux finishes! When has faux ever looked not faux? It just screams, “Hello! I’m not the real thing!” It grows a voice along with four legs, a spiked tail and then it crawls out of the swamp.
Emily stares.
And Emily. Oh, Emily: “I don’t do sketches, I don’t draw. I stare.” When she stares into her future, I’m thinking she’s going to see that she SHOULD HAVE DONE A SKETCH.
Julie. She didn’t hear me. No faux finishes! But there she is fauxing all over that wall.
Judges’ decisions are in and it’s time to assess the designs: Stacey’s is really hip, clean and urban. Love the saturated colors. I think it’s spot on and an excellent piece given the constraints. Her fellow designer Dan, however, put this horrifying thing over the bed. What is that? And even though Stacey says she likes it, I’m thinking my grandmother would have said to take it down, it makes her feel old and smelly.
Nina’s room: Beautiful, but remember my prophecy about geisha umbrellas? How many did she stick to that wall? I lost count because I can’t count that high. Courtland is polite about the design, but then Nina turns right around and drops a piano on Courtland’s head. His design is not bohemian enough, even though she never once mentioned that she preferred bohemian. HAHA! See? Catty! Already! Only thing missing is the sound effect of two lions biting each other’s back legs off.
Tom’s room: He packed up the Asian market, loaded it on a truck and unpacked everything in that room. All that red would make me angry. Yes, angrier than I already am. And his fellow designer Julie? Did I mention the faux paint finish? That’s all that needs to be said. Oh, one more thing: EEEEYYYUUUCK!
Alex’s room is not as bad as I thought it was going to be, given that half of it is still sitting in a pile on the floor of the market. Casey’s room is a nice break from the three before it: again, clean. Finished. Confident, saturated colors. Oh no, I think I’m getting soft on you guys! Where’s my grit? Someone hurry and spit in my cereal!
Tera’s room: my absolute favorite so far. Not only it is clean and confident, but it has so much texture and symmetry. Definitely a design that looks like it cost well over $500. Trent’s room is, well, I can’t get past the ghost he installed over the bed. It looks like Casper, except Casper is hopped up on pain killers and yelling at his cat.
Michael’s room is yet another with blue walls, but I like the eclectic arrangement of all the accessories. Casual, a little rough around the edges, livable. And then there’s Emily’s room. Oh dear. Remember that sketch she didn’t draw? It’s living with the design she didn’t execute. Don’t get me wrong, I like minimal. But the blank space in that room has the gravitational pull and personality of a black hole.
Judges have deliberated and broken them out into the top six and bottom six designers: Yay for Stacey, Tera, Nina, Casey, Michael and Dan. Best design goes to… Nina! Except, I disagree! Not enough to make a fuss, but enough to use some exclamation points!
The bottom six designers commiserate before final elimination.
Oops for the rest, whose punishment is to go back and film a host presentation for their design and then stand in judgment again. No pressure, JUST A GIANT CAMERA IN YOUR FACE. Be friendly, be relatable! Don’t mess up a line and let slip a certain word!
The judge’s evaluation of each design pretty much mirrors my own, but when I mentioned earlier that Vern means business, I HAD NO IDEA. Vern is bringing it! A side we haven’t seen! Go, Vern, go! Show those tall, blonde women who’s who! Oh, wait….
Now, I think anyone who uses a faux paint finish should end up in the bottom two, so I don’t think Emily should be standing there next to Julie in the end. Also, there’s something very adorable about Emily that comes across clearly in her host presentation. That she’s willing to poke fun at her mistakes in the video is a brilliant move on her part. It shows that she can think on her feet. And Julie’s video is just so stiff. So rehearsed and flat. That paired with the The Monumental Faux Paint Disaster of 2010, and no wonder she’s the first one sent home.
Can’t wait to see if Emily steps it up next week.
Clive, Clive, wherefore art thou, Clive? It's not the same without you.
I hope Clive is reading these posts, as well!
My first thought when they went to the Asia market was "God, I hope no one plasters their room with those umbrellas!" Guess I would never make a design star ……Tera's room was classy and by far the best in show. Come on judges….
And may I say this, Antonio is ORGINAL…he should hopefully bring something a little different….and even though I do like David B. we did not need another pretty boy nice guy that takes off his shirt,
I totally agree…worst fear was a bunch of parasols from asian market…not decorating just bring stuff home and hanging it up…Nina was rude, and right away showed what kind of person she was…..her room looked like an Asian Market window display!
And I do like Antonio and his own style…I was all for him winning last season and I did like Dan but felt his presentation were not that great…..Emily should have gone…she was undecisive from beginning and continually acted like she was lost and unable to preform…I commented her room looked like a prison cell from the beginning. Surprised she would have made it on to the show…not at all professional or mature in speaking or design.Yes Julie should not have used the goose feathers but her room did have style and showed she at least thought it out…I liked it…but not the paint job.
Don't forget Kim from season 2. I really like her designs. For people living on a budget, she can make a little go a long way. I've gotten so many good ideas from her. Her outdoor designs are the best.
When you spend 500 unless you have time and talent you can't do an illusion with stuff from the Asian market. You may pull it off from thrift stores yard sales garage sales etc with stains paint re purposing. But when one of the judges mentioned make 500 look like 5 000 i was laughing at the judge.
While it may seem like a competition they also have to learn to work with others well. Setting others up to fail will come out as time goes on
i have to agree, this new season is way off the mark:
No Clive, no class, and definitely a no go. For the record I liked antonio, and even if you didn’t like him….he did much better in his designs then these scrubs.
I’m also very confused how the judges can say nothing positive about Emily’s room, or her hosting and NOT eliminate her., but whatever…maybe Clive will be back next week, l am not sure I will be.
Hey, Emily's room stunk!!!!!!!! she should have went home.
1st time watching Design Star. Not happy with the elimination. Curious about the criteria on why Julie was eliminated instead of the prison cell. I'm also curious why Nina won Best Design? I did learn something though, if you lie and backstab people or if you profess how much you screwed up on a project you'll be in the judges' favor. Good to know…
Nina! You've got to be kidding! I don't think Fiji is known for umbrellas. I was expecting rain any minute. What happened to all that design training? Not impressed at all. She does get an "A" in back stabbing and lying though. Judges, TERA WAS BY FAR THE BEST! Vern and Candiss, you two are my favorite designers, I'm very disappointed in you. Trent and Alex may end up in the final three.
I hate that the show was 30 minutes of judging and deliberation. I want to learn more about why each designer chose what they chose and see more of the rooms as they were coming together. NOT a fan of this new format. I don't know how much of this season I'll be able to handle! At this point, I'm not seeing anyone whose show I would want to watch.
RIGHT ON!
Nina, what a witch. I think they should all group together and throw her under the bus and squish her to a blob. I loved Tera's design the best. Really great and I cannot believe she pulled that off for $500. I also disagree with Nina being the best, good heavens, paper umbrellas all over the place. Garbage in my opinion.
I agree. Nina is to onion, as dung is to pasture, smellllly!
Her paper umbrella's reminded me of a space you would find on Trading Spaces, perhaps that's why it was picked because the two Alumni from there like corny, cheap looking rooms.
Ha Ha Texas I second that opinion. When self adoring Twina (I just can't make myself type her name) backstabbed Courtland and then the judges picked her as the winner then proceeded to let us all know that all the wonderful thoughts she had about herself were true. I figured why watch anymore. The judges have already picked their next design star….
Bring back Clive! Bring back Clive! Bring back Clive!!!!!!!
I agree, it's not the same without Clive. BRING HIM BACK!!!!
Tera's room definitely the best. Nina's design being judged the best was a real disappointment. What was with all the paper parasols anyway?
I like the toned down dramatics so far of the new format, but I wish they'd give the designers a little more time in prep work. In reality, would any of us want to have someone design our house in one day or a few hours? A lot less time can be taken away from the judges commentary and be used to develop the designs, which is why we watch, no???