Dooce’s Recap: Design Star, Have You Ever Seen a Souvenir?
This week begins with the red team returning to the apartment without Nina, and Stacey could not be happier: “This is probably the best outcome of any elimination to date. She’s gone. Like, do you know what a relief that is?” Meaning Stacey read the note I slipped her WORD FOR WORD.
The contestants meet Vern in the lobby of Trump Tower to meet Donald Trump, Jr. who is going to help judge the challenge this week. Each team has to design a model apartment in the brand new Trump property, The Trump Plaza Residences in Jersey City. Don, Jr., explains that the Trump look is consistently about luxury, but that it has to be contextual, which in this instance means it should reflect Jersey City. And since the Trumps are all about New York, each contestant must choose a New York City souvenir package and physically incorporate it into their designs. Uh, Design Star? Have you ever seen a souvenir? About as luxurious as an ingrown hair.
Casey takes the architectural package, Stacy grabs the yellow taxi bag, Alex selects the Big Apple package, Tom takes the Statue of Liberty, Emily gets the subway bag, Courtland takes the Times Square package, leaving Michael with the Broadway souvenirs. They head out to their apartments and the blue team immediately decides to apply crown molding. Emily worries it’s going to be a time suck. These designers have to realize at this point that if their gut is telling them TIME SUCK, then the reality is going to be TIME BLACK HOLE.
Over with the red team, Tom suggests painting the bathroom blue because it would match the mood of a Wall Street financier. They talk about clean-lined furniture, and Courtland suggests keeping the windows free of treatments to emphasize the view. The other two disagree, and Courtland just throws up his hands, comparing the dynamics to a democracy. I’d compare it more to Courtland, please take up for yourself a little bit more.
After shopping for accessories, Stacey pulls the plastic yellow taxi from her bag and says she wants to make a mosaic with it, and Courtland starts laughing. This is when the vibrant yellow of that bag comes back to haunt her, and she realizes she doesn’t know how to incorporate it into the room. Excuse me, comes back to bite THE TEAM. And then she starts cutting drapery from drop cloths. Remember that ingrown hair I mentioned?
The blue team is busy painting and cutting crown molding, except guess what? It’s been cut wrong AND Casey is installing them upside down. Donald Trump, Jr. isn’t going to notice that at all.
And oh no, is this really happening? Back at the red team, Tom is painting the entire bathroom blue, including the ceiling. And not just any blue. DARK blue. It looks insane, I’m sorry, just… nuts! So gloomy and small. And then wait! STOP! He’s painting the door blue, too! It looks like a giant Smurf exploded all over the walls!
Crown molding over at the blue team is proving to be the time suck Emily had predicted. In the meantime, Alex creates a pillow out of his souvenir package, and Emily is making a collage/art piece out of hers. There’s a bit of discord among the team when Michael gripes that Emily and Alex lack the ability to see the big picture, maybe because he’s been stuck with building all the furniture. And then he calls Alex’s pillow ugly. Michael, that is just below the belt! So cruel! You’re going to get hate mail from the pillows now!
More terribleness is going on over at the blue team as they set up their bed and fail to actually make it a bed. And then they’re left without any art in the room, and even though Tom said he’d get to it he’s stuck painting the door back to its original white. And then Courtland asks Stacy to kiss his coffee mug with red lipstick “to create a story line” for his souvenir. INGROWN HAIR. INGROWN HAIR.
Time for the judges’ walk through, and the blue team is up first. The place looks really elegant and soft. The judges like the crown molding (although Don, Jr. does notice that the execution is off, who told you so?!), and they love the metallics, patterns and textures. Everything is really muted, but instead of being boring, it reads very smooth.
And then the read team…queue horror film music. It’s so incredibly sparse, and Don, Jr. says that this is something he’d see in a college dorm room. The judges remark that the implementation of the souvenirs is, for lack of a better word, LAME, and then they see the bed, the sad, deflated bed. But then they walk into the blueberry bathroom and every one of them says, “I hate it.” Don, Jr. says it’d be his job to make sure no one would ever see this room.
Lemme guess which team loses.
I’m right. The red team is headed to prepare host presentations, and Alex from the blue team is the designer who impressed them the most. How’s that ugly pillow treating you now, Michael?
Stacey is a mess during the shoot, and Tom is standing behind his blue bathroom. Courtland decides to make fun of the space because he’s so angry and admits that his presentation will not save him. And then back at the judging studio, Courtland can’t keep quiet. He says Tom spent much too time on the bathroom, and when given the opportunity to explain his choices, Tom doesn’t make any sense. Vern describes it as a cave. Really? Not a disastrous cave? Because that’s where I’d go.
Courtland then tries to defend himself, saying that he couldn’t get his voice heard, when Vern says one of the truest things ever spoken: “Some of the absolute worst designs are designs by committee.” As a former web designer, I COULD NOT AGREE MORE.
Stacey takes the blame for the bed, but can’t really explain herself. These guys are as much a mess as that room! She even admits to having no creative process here at all. And then grades herself at 60 per cent. That’s when Vern steps in and says that since that wouldn’t even be a passing grade at Parson’s, it’s not a passing grade for HGTV. And she’s out of there just like that! Without even a glimpse at her presentation.
BUT GET THIS. They aren’t finished yet! Double elimination time since Don, Jr. was so appalled. Tom’s video is up first, and he’s having a hard time keeping his eyes connected to the camera. He’s also a little wordy and uncomfortable. Courtland apologizes for his video before they even see it, but it’s actually kind of funny. He doesn’t seem angry, per se. Just a little fed up. And he’s having a sense of humor about it. Although, Genevieve is not laughing.
Vern thinks Courtland seems more natural and is learning in terms of his hosting skills. Vern says that Tom needs to be more engaging and cover more real estate in the space, and then the decision is handed down: Tom. They couldn’t get past the blue bathroom. There’s a joke in that last sentence to be made, but I won’t make it. I will say, though, that this means we get to ogle Courtland for a least one more week!
Guess some of Dan's construction experience and his creativity could've come in handy this week. At least it showed some class. I didn't see much of that this week at all. Pretty lame is an understatement.
I miss Dan!
I agree. But still even Dan (and all others) think they are the top ones while none of them gave a proper design. Dan thought himself as a savior of the ladies team and messed up. He put some store bought picture frames on the wall for last week. I can't believe all these people calling themselves designers.
I'm pretty sure Dan would have gotten the cuts right and the hanging of the crown molding – heck, he may have even installed them rightside up and without getting paint all over the ceiling and walls. I can't believe Vern, Geneieve and Candice ditched him as he seems to the be only "designer" with any skills.
Vern's got a Napoleon Complex. I hate it when he gets snooty. They did this last season too, (or the season before, I forget). And the crown molding, that's what happens when there's no one with wood working experience, (miss you Dan!) Please, where are the individual challenges? When are we going to see real designs? This season is BORING!
YES BORING!! STUPID!!
Yes Vern is a bit tiring sometimes. And again, most people interested in design have at least seen crown molding. Putting it up the wrong way is laughable.
Vern used to seem like a nice person on Trading Spaces, but he is so MEAN, now.
Actually all of the judges make a bad impression.
The challenges are stupid, then when the contestants come up with bad ideas they get yelled at. It's not enjoyable to watch.
Wow the judges were right on with their eliminations , I was so not impressed by the red team's lack of execution. Lets see if Courtland can step up to the plate next week , so far the Blue team has been pretty consistent with giving the judges what they want to see.
This is scary! No one deserves a TV show! Design Star my ass! Every week they are given a challenge and its as if once they are given their task, they loose focus and all sensibilty of designing. They are definitely not smarter than an 8th grader! I have a better sense of designing than all of them put together! I recommend they scrap this season all together. They are wasting valuable air time. Bring on more episodes of Design to Sell, The , Get It Sold, Curb Appeal: The Block, and Design on a Dime! Better yet, give some of your bloggers an opportunity to design a room or two. I would not have embarrassed myself nor the show. I would do an exceptional design job on Trump Tower!
I design better rooms than most of what we've seen this season — provided I don't get a stupid theme or a bag of cheap junk I had to use. I'm not a professional designer, but I'm a writer and an artist. I know I do something I would like and I know my audience, I can do something they will like. Of course the judges on this show would proabably say it was too simple or a kid could do better; I could tell them "a kid could come up with a challenge that makes more sense than them". Wonder what they would say to that?
Yes! Thankyou, I agree. Who thinks up these challenges? I'm not a professional designer either but I know I could do a better job than these people based on what I'm seeing here.
This years challenges aren't real life. When was the last time any of us went to an upscale furniture store? Had an unlimited budget? We need more Design on a Dime. I want to see them do more with second hand furniture – that's real life.
Where’s the real Design Star? This is truly a lame excuse for a season of Design Star. Is it just a poor choice of contestants? Do any of them have design talent? If so, we are not seeing it. Flat crown molding? Dark color all over a small bathroom? Or is it poorly designed competitions that have too little time and too many team competitions? I sure hope the rest of this season provides something worth watching…
Remember – Antonio won it last time with a blend of design skills and construction expertise, but he doesn't have the greatest TV presence with all the tattoos and piercings and facial hair. This time around there are people that look good on TV, but some lack the personality. Also, this time around there is more a split between those with the design skills and those with the construction skills. They have gotten rid of the construction guys because they helped other people too much and failed to insert their own desing elements – some of the designers who are left are demonstrating that they are horrible with the execution, luckily they got rid of the right people tonight.
I honestly don't think it is the contestants fault. i think that with the proper support (carpenters, seamstresses, etc.) and time (we know the judges don't just come up with ideas on a whim especially when they include tacky souveniers) they would be able to better design the spaces.
With silly individual tasks now as the deciding factor of whether they go or stay, their focus is divided, the pressure has to be so enormous ( i know i like to think things through overnight so the crappy ideas get filtered out) and think about having to work with total strangers who have totally different perspectives and coming up with a cohesive design (while still showing your own perspective when again -using that tacky souvenier) and they are having to do things they don't know how to do! not all designers sew, build furniture, or paint masterpieces!
Tonite's show was like a SNL skit. This season is awful. None of the contestants shine, the challenges are stupid and all team challenges which isn't really fair and that silly whispering of the judges while they are standing there is stupid. Since the "decorating thug" won last year I don't expect much anyway.
I agree with you about everything and the 'decorating thug' label is so apt!
I agree , this was so funny I laughed my ass off! I think Tom was hilarious to watch. He was always huffing and puffing and looked so WIERD. I Hate Hate Hate Vern Yip and Genevive. Both act as though a bad design is worthy of death. Yes most of the work being done is bad, but don't treat people so mean. LOVE Courtland cause he is beautiful, but getting to be mean himself.
Your SNL comment was hilarious. I think this show would make an awesome SNL skit.
Boy, is that ever on target. I haven't watched any of Antonio's shows and don't plan to.
How many times does Courtland have to be in the bottom of the designers and still stay on the show?
The challenges this year have been terrible. I can't remember one that was an actual presentation of an individual designer. Where do Vern, Candice, and Genevive think they are so great, Vern and Genevive started on tv way back when when trading spaces on Lifetime was the hit show. I remember all so well, yes they have their own shows on hgtv now as does Candice, but how much of the actual decorating do these "professionals" actually do, they have whole crews to do they work then at the end of the show they take the credit. I am not impressed with design star this year. I don't care who wins, as it will be a no class, no talent person just like the last few seasons. Bromstad has been the only one who was selected on the first design star, and he still has his own show, he was better before he moved back to Miami! Guess design star needs to find someone else to replace him now?
I won't be watching design star ever again.
I agree, David's show was better before they moved him to Miami.
Bromstad chose to move to Miami because it is his home, and I am sure he missed his family. Ian, Danielle, and Claire probably didn't want to leave their spouses and children and other jobs–yes, they had other jobs in San Fran besides Color Splash–to go with him.
Yeah, I miss Danielle and Ian.
you are so right on!
vern needs to go! he can't even tie his own tie.
The Miami show is much better than the unviewable junk he was doing before. I hardly watched him after he won the 1st design star because it seemed he did much better work during the contest than he did on his shows previous incarnation. I have watched a few of the Miami shows and finally I like his work again.
Having your own crew 'do the work' doesn't mean you didn't design it. Candace, Vern & Genevieve are all amazingly talented, and if you've watched their shows over the years, you've seen them (esp. on Divine Design) lay out their plans. Not carrying the sofa up the stairs doesn't mean you didn't choose it for your design, (not to mention customizing fabric, style, etc.). I don't get your comment on these designers.
I do agree that Color Splash was better before it went to Miami. I know that's where David is from and can understand he wanted to go back there, but miss the comraderie of Ian and Danielle and even Claire. Think they've got a long way to go with this new crew. It's just not fun to watch yet.
Yeah but his new carpenter is….well…yummy!!!!
Well, my son's from Arizona and lives in N.Y. in order to pursue his career there. David should have stayed in San Francisco with his old crew. I've been unable to completely watch any of his new shows and have stopped DVR'ing them.
I agree with most of your comments, esp. regarding the judges. They are horrid to the designers and I don't even think shortypants Vern has any talent at all. He is a minimonster. Candace and Genevive are snotty and cold acting. The designers should stop being grouped together. How can they ever really be judged? No one can shine in this format and even though Vern knows this he still tries to blame them for group effort. I do wish for a more humane judge. Clive would suffice.
Yes, David is the best coming from Design Star contests but Miles was good too…
This show was unexpected. I was surprised to see Stacey go home. Tom was the weak link on the team. Overall, I think this is the weakest group of designers compared to past seasons. Not even any memorable characters like Antonio.
Oh and by the way, I MISS CLIVE PEARSE!!!
He is much better than listening to Vern Yip. I miss CLIVE PEARSE!!!!!!!!!
It's probably explained somewhere on the HGTV site, but I'd sure like to know why Clive Pearse is no longer the host. I like Vern as a designer, but Clive Pearse as the host is waaaayyyyy better.
How could ANYONE design a LUXURY condo with cheap souvenirs? I'd like Vern to explain that to us as he bashes the designers.
Exactly! I love to see how the judges would handle the same exact challenge. would it be a relief to us HGTV fans if they present next time a design show and explain to us how the JUDGES can design A LUXURY CONDO WITH CHEAP SOUVENIRS that are absolutely ridicules and stupid. I love to see that. or they can post on this website and I am not defending the contestants at all, none of them are the right candidate to be next design star. the total show this season is a disaster.
I did kinda like the Broadway lamp, and Tom turned his denim statue of Liberty bag into art. Also, the word art had potential. Didn't see it finished, but it was an interesting idea.
Thank you Mrs. Potter. People who live in N.J. don't need souveniers especially when technically the Statue of Liberty is in N.J. and the view affords you the real things every day.Besides New Yorkers are always bashing Jersey people so there's no love lost there anyway.
Season 3, Episode 3 (The Yard Sale). Matt Locke repurposed a manequin into upscale art.
It was chic, smart, and the entire project only took a few minutes. So it can be done.
However, that takes talent and creativity (something that's definitely lacking this Season).
Its called thinking outside the box. Vern is tactless but since american idol has that idiot bully more and more shows has that "jerk" judge. Vern is a product of that trend. Although its negative its still publicity right? Just look how many people comment about vern alone… if no one commented about him he would so be gone!