Dooce’s Recap: Oh no, Dan! Energize me! Make me nicer!
Is it episode three already? It is, and as Nina points out very wisely as the men celebrate their win, “The fall from the top is a long way down.” She was on top the first week, in the bottom two last week. Already Design Star is saying to the contestants, WE EAT EGOS LIKE YOURS FOR BREAKFAST.
Immediately the contestants walk out onto the rooftop of Trump International Hotel and Tower where a jazz band is getting down. Oh, jazz. You cute little acquired musical taste. Like hot, diluted beer on an uncovered patio in the desert. My husband loves you. I love him despite this.
Vern tells the ladies to choose one guy to join their team since the numbers are lopsided four to six (women being the first two eliminated). After a tiny bit of whispering they choose Dan, they say because of his skills and his nice energy, an infusion the women could really use. Really, it’s not because he’s so cute and has that adorable Southern accent? Those things come in handy when you’re sewing curtains.
This week’s challenge is to design a 200-square-foot outdoor terrace inspired by music, what Vern describes as one of the most difficult Design Star challenges ever. It’s an intangible inspiration, and each contestant must choose an individual instrument to influence their design. Courtland chooses the cello, Dan takes the guitar, Tom takes the sax and so on until the final contestant, Stacey, is stuck with the trumpet, which she says is perfect since they are both little and loud. Vern urges them to, “Determine how your band is going to sound in the design.” Oh dear, I sense a lot of musical metaphors in the making. If you’re taking a shot of liquor every time you hear one, you might be dead at the end.
The spaces are amazing blank canvases. The men go shopping immediately, find a gorgeous wicker daybed that they plan to use as the centerpiece of the design, and Alex thinks his work is done as it represents his instrument, congas, perfectly. Their quick start hits a huge bump when Trent picks out a Christmas tree to stick right in the middle of the space. And the bickering ensues. This tree? No tree. That tree. Big tree! For a few minutes the dialog among the men sounds like a book I read to my newborn before bed.
Dan is having a calming effect on the women as they talk and work together, and surprisingly they all agree on the furniture. He suggests that maybe he’s the missing link, and I think he may be right. Have you noticed I have yet to pick on Nina? I mean, his calming effect is working its way across the country to Utah. That’s some energy!
Flash to the men trying to load all of their furniture and materials into the elevator up to their terrace, and ohhhhh, nooooo. That beautiful daybed is going nowhere. They’d have to rent a crane to get that thing up there, and I’m guessing that’s not in the budget. Let’s hope booze is.
And then Courtland… COURTLAND! Is he really doing a faux paint finish again? An orange faux finish? NO NO NO NO NO! I’m with Michael on this one: “Nothing screams cello to me like Venetian plaster.” It’s a total disaster, I’m calling that one now. As Tom points out, he basically just took the color of the cello and fauxed it all over that wall. Yes, that is a verb.
Over on the men’s side, Trent is walking around avoiding conflict, probably because he’s tired of being nitpicked. And Tom is attempting to salvage whatever chance Alex has in this design since the original daybed couldn’t fit in the elevator. Meaning, they are designing something to represent a saxophone and a conga simultaneously. Yeah, I am so glad I’m not a contestant on this television show.
It’s a mad dash to the finish, and the judges enter the men’s space first. My first impression is that five designers all entered a space, never said a word to each other, and set up their own little installation. There is nothing cohesive about this space whatsoever. You’ve got yellow and turquoise and orange and magenta and black, and then this giant musical note made out of an extension cord on the wall. That saxophone of a daybed juxtaposed to the orange Venetian wall is a nightmare. Literally, like something you’d see in the Halloween section of a craft store.
The women’s space, despite the swirly swoops, has a totally different, more inviting vibe to it. The purple walls are so chic, so – shall I say – jazzy, and they work perfectly with the trumpet-themed wall made out of wood. The votives and low slung furniture finish off the space with a feeling of tranquility, which is what I think Dan was going for in terms of bringing the guitar into the room. The judges disagree with me, they even think the swirly swoops were a great idea, but that’s why I write the recaps, right?
And when the judgment is handed down, the women win! I totally agree with this decision, obviously, but I can’t abide the fact that Nina is chosen as the top designer. SWIRLY SWOOPS. AAAACK! I think Dan deserves a lot more credit here than the judges are giving him. He changed the dynamic and energy of the group. He even made me nice for a few paragraphs!
The men scramble to figure out what went wrong, and then at elimination we get a slew of musical metaphors: “a cacophony of different noises.” “Come together as a symphony.” “We were out of tune as a band.” Whoever is doing shots of tequila, STOP NOW.
Vern totally rips into both Tom and Courtland, even telling Courtland that his wall is pure insanity, “that a clown car exploded onto that corner of your patio.” Alex is reamed for not having any representation of a conga in the room. Trent tries to justify his part of the design, the keyboard, as the feeling of “party” in the space, and Genevieve is quick to point out that this explanation is too vague. It’s too hard to see him in the space. And after a quick discussion, Trent and Alex are announced as the bottom two as those whose voices where not seen enough in the design. I think this is valid as this room could leave everyone involved at the bottom.
Alex’s host presentation is casual, easy, albeit a bit repetitive, and he only focuses on one corner of the room. Trent’s presentation feels a bit more confident, at least initially, but then he sort of trails off and can’t find himself. Before the judges can announce who’s going home Trent interrupts Vern to say that he is just too easygoing to work with such strong personalities. And what do you know, the judges were going to say that he’d been fading too far into the background. And out he goes. Next week the men better work harder at coming together as a symphony.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT! I WAS FALLING ASLEEP halfway through the show! None of the designs really stood out and frankly, neither do the contestants. Sure, they're the usual yacky, self centered types you see on reality shows, but not one Bromstad or Antonio – those guys usually talked about what they were designing, not about the other contestants. When you have something real to offer, you don't have too. Are any of the current cast even likable? It doesn't matter who the winner is, their show will be a goner before it starts – there are no strong, likable and (really) creative contestants here. Blame producer Mark Burnet – these contestants are cast as though they're going on Survivor, not Design Star. As Kiki states in her review – Where are the "wow" designs? I'll go further – WHERE ARE THE WOW CONTESTANTS? – THESE ARE ALL DUDS. And please, where is Clive?
I truly hope Nina doesn't win. I thought her swirlies looked stupid (Emily was right, it looked better before) and I can't stand her personality. I'd never watch a show she hosted. While I agree the Guys space wasn't cohesive, I at least feel like Courtland, Michael and Tom understand what it meams to be inspired by something. They do need to mix up the teams more, if for no other reason to see who plays well with others.
I have to say, this is the worst season of Design Star. I didn't think it could get worse after last year. Season one and two gave us David Bromstad and Kym Myles. Both of them are kind and talented people. I like watching their shows. Jennifer sucks (and I notice she has no show) and Anthony sucks (he also has next to nothing for a show). I will never watch either one of them. If HGTV thinks I will watch a show with a host like Nina, they are nuts. The woman is an idiot. I could hardly believe the women (and Dan) won this challenge. Her design sucked. Yes, I agree with someone that already wondered how her scribble could put her in the bottom 2 one week and make her top designer the next. That scribble on the purple wall was stupid. I like Candice..I think she is the best on tv but Genevieve?? Gads! She is an awful designer. I wouldn't pay her 5 cents to design a room for me. I liked Clive on the show, too. He brought a little fun to it. Michael Jones, I agree with your comment. By the way, I changed the channel after the stupid women won with the barney wall and scribble all over it, and Nina got best designer of the week. A good show has already managed to go bad.
Jennifer doesn't have a show because shortly after winning, she gave birth to a special needs baby. She chose another career instead: mom. Season 4 was a misstep: but Antonio IS going to be on at last though, (against better judgment in my opinion) in August. They renamed the show, too. From his FB page: "The Antonio Treatment returns!! — Airs on Sundays at 11p on 8/8, 8/15 & 8/22; Regular slot is Saturday at 10:30p effective 8/14"
I have to agree with you Jeanne I wouldn't hire Genevieve. Her designs can be very tacky. I', sure she got her show based on her looks, not talent. I like her persoanlity just not her design. Too bad for her. I don't think she should be judging others. Put someone that really knows design.
I agree, how can Nina win with her scribble? I was glad last week when they put NINA in her place and she comes back this week with new scribble and is praised. It does not compute and if some one critizied my drawing last week why come back this week?
Back to Trent- he needed to go, but why did he not come up with the wall of boards and color is like a key board? Is this too easy? He should have been on the girl team, but then they would have lost.
I am voting for DAN as my fav- I hope he goes all the way, not as the favorite but the winner- he reminds me of the fan fav last year- was his name Dan too?
While I'm watching this year, I have to agree with others, that it's just not much fun anymore and I'm rapidly losing interest. I agree that Clive was a vital element that is missing. I don't know if having the survivor producer and his editing emphasis on conflict is the problem or is HGTV has just run out of ideas. The team challenges are especially tiresome. I mean, I know it's because the show is too cheap to spring for the money for each designer to design a room. But it's hardly a valid test. And ultimately, what is the point? No one who has a show designs as a team. (They may have a team that works for them, but it's not like Candice Olsen is asking one of the carpenters to design the room with her). The judges, who I actually like individually, are mostly coming off as unpleasant, whinny, and erratic.
umm.. actually, doesn't nina's design just look like someone picked up an instrument and started playing some notes? Like, the center vertical bar is the starting point, from were someone would first blow into the trumpet. Then the thinner horizontal bars coming out from it are the heavier notes and the swirly lines are the lighter melodic notes. It really is a clever interpretation of the musical challenge and I have to say I like it.. in spite of her rather abrasive personality and heavy handed approach to teamwork. I'm sorry to disagree with many of you.. but i had to say that cuz I really do think it was a good design.
I agree with you here lala9…Nina's interpretive design was unique and I rated it best of the episode.
A dramatic flair compared to Courtland's Venetian Plaster wall or Trent's grill.
Now if we could just get rid of the "pack your suitcase" scenerios – and for crying out loud! Don't these judges EVER disagree with one another?
I have images of little bobble heads here.
An interesting challenge here….and as a lover of Jazz I totally could get it (where did it feel like hot diluted beer on an uncovered patio?) LOL!
It reminded me of a EKG gone wild!
No, it does not.
It looks stupid.
You're REALLY reaching.
Nina sucks as a designer and sucks as a human being. I wouldn't hire her to paint my house curb with my street numbers, let alone allow her in my house in fears she might spill her Bohemian Chic on my furniture. Or, God forbid, start that doodling cr@p on my walls.
If these are the people who made it on the show, how bad were the ones who didn't make it. There is NOT ONE person who stands out. These people suck. Talk about back-stabbers. Another thing, this format does not allow anyone to shine. The show is going backwards. Can you tell me why people ALWAYS mess up a good thing. I don't care what the new producers have previously produced, they don't know squat about this venue. The judges seen stiff and uncomfortable. I've never liked that Genevieve or her show. She isn't a good host, how can she judge someone else? The show is too much like a reality show now, not like a contest. Cut the contrived drama and the comments from the contestants. If the first show had been like this I'd never had watched again. I'm sure ratings are down. Does anyone even care who wins as longs as it's not Nina. Boot her off, no one will watch her show. Oh, and someone needs to tell her she is not an artist, or at least not a good one.
I agree with Robin, in fact I came on here to make that exact point. WHO chose these "designers" to compete? I'd really love to see the ones that didn't make it. I've watched every episode from season 1 on till tonight; in every season till now there were designers I wanted to see make it and some I didn't. There isn't one person out of this group that I am pulling for or that I can see myself watching a show they would host.
Clive is gone. BIG mistake. The judges criticize instead of critique. Candice and Gen just say they "don't see it" and Vern is just mean. I've seen better designers on First Time Design and Vern is his old self on there.
I have always liked Vern but he seems to resent being there this season. Did they tell him to act this way? I hope the Powers That Be will wake up and go back to the way things were when the show was good.
Yes, I dislike Nina as much as everyone else but this week, Courtland came off as the doofus who let one measly win go to his head. He did exactly the same thing Tera did last week and let color be his only inspiration. Nina really won top designer when all we know she contributed was a squiggly line? Truth to tell, it did evoke the French horn but the execution sucked. I've got a three-year-old who did that with a crayon last month! Why did Nina even get a choice of instruments since she barely survived last week? She should have been stuck with the leftovers. Because they have to set aside so much time to humiliate the losing team, we're missing too many of the design and budgeting decisions. At least this week someone mentioned in passing that they actually HAVE a budget. The challenges are stupid. Who really has to use five or six different 'inspirations' in a single space? How come five guys chose the daybed but only Alex got blamed for not measuring it to see if it fit in the dang elevator? Trent said he was going for a party vibe and Genevieve said that was too vague… yeah like 'music' is so specific! Next week's flower show already holds no appeal for me. When Vern said 'you're competing to become one of US', I wanted to slap him because he sounded just as arrogant as Genevieve when she originated the line last year. Was Candace even there? Talk about a voice lost in the battle of personalities. I used to think Clive came off as a bit snarky, but at least he knew the difference between snarky and snotty.
I too wanted to slap Vern when he said that; what an ego! Did you ever see him design a room without a zillion candles people can't even get to or would bother lighting more than once a year.
Yes, quite often in fact. Don't confuse the early Vern with one we see now.
I miss the shopping trips too. I can understand giving this many contestants team challenges but giving them each an outfit or instrument and expecting them to bring together a cohesive design just isn't working. What happened to letting them design the place they are living? In season 1 they had to go to a pet, automotive or beauty supply store to get inspiration and materials, in season 2 (or was it 3) they had to go to the .99 store; those were fun to watch and they actually had to show some creativitiy. I keep hoping they'll do something like that again.
I can't stand any of these designers; no one to root for. Nina is supremely unpleasant. Vern Yip is like nails on a blackboard.–this show used to be fun with Clive. Goodbye HGTV.
What the hell is up with the judges??? Vern is SOOOO boring!! First off the guys did way better than the girls this week, AGAIN! And NINA winning!!! are you serious? that hideous color wall with her terrible art! Michael should have won this week.
YOU'VE GOT TO BRING CLIVE BACK!!!!!! THE SHOW IS NOT THE SAME WITHOUT HIM! THE JUDGES SHOULD BE JUDGES AND THATS ALL, AND YES VERN IS SOOOOOO ANNOYING! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HGTV BRING BACK CLIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree so much with you! I thought I was the only one that was annoyed by Vern and missed Clive.