Welcome to a Dan-less Design Star. Can it be the same? Who will build Nina’s projects? Who will we ogle? Oh, right! Courtland! PHEW!

We find ourselves at the New York Fire Department Training Facility, and Genevieve Gorder announces that Chief Ciarvino of the FDNY is going to help judge this week’s challenge. She then mixes up the teams: Michael, Emily, Casey and Alex become the blue team. Nina, Stacey, Courtland and Tom become the red team. Can I just say this before we go on? Hey, Courtland: NINA IS BOHEMIAN. I just want you to see that one coming.

The challenge this week is to design a common space for real firefighters in real New York City firehouses, some place they come back to in between calls, some place where Chief Ciarvino says they can relax. Each designer is to incorporate one signature element into the team design, something, anything to express each individual’s voice. Wait a minute; it’s coming to me… I see… I see… I SEE A MURAL! ON A WALL!

The teams get dressed up in full firefighter gear and visit a simulator where they experience a real fire. It roars up over the ceiling, and Chief Ciarvino is like, if it gets too hot just raise your hand! I don’t know why that made me laugh so hard, maybe because I can bet these designers had no idea that NEAR DEATH was part of this series.

The red team visits Engine 5 where they are told cardiovascular health is very important to the firefighters’ job and they could use exercise equipment. They also need a training center and a place to relax. The firefighter then shows them that behind the horrifying drop ceiling is an extra five feet topped by gorgeous tin tiles. Tom declares this will be his signature element, to raise the height of the room and give it the character that is the history of the firehouse. I really like his idea, and if he pulls this off right, it could be magnificent.

Nina immediately jumps on the task of ordering the furniture because she is better than her group and they can learn from her. Oh, humility. Where art thou? And then Tom loses his mind and suggests taking down a wall causing an almost knock-down fight between him and Courtland. And there’s swearing and accusations of attitude and name calling, and boy, do I ever love drama. I tell you what. Mommyblogging has nothing on designers.

Over at Squad 18, the blue team is shown their giant, blank room where the firefighters conduct drills, both physically and with educational materials. They are faced with the monumental task of painting mile-high walls and an awful green linoleum floor. I hope they don’t paint themselves into a corner! HA HA! Ha. Ha. Not funny? Come on. Indulge me.

Turns out they have to put a thick coat of polyurethane on the floor in order to keep it from peeling off, and they run out of time on day one. Meaning they have to do that part of the project the following day and wait several hours for it to dry. This could be curtains for these guys, waiting for THE ENTIRE FLOOR to dry. Looks like they really did paint themselves into a corner! HA HA! SEE?!

Casey and Michael tackle the floor on day two while Alex and Emily tackle Emily’s signature piece, a coffee table that is a tribute to firemen. There is a blonde joke in here somewhere as she fumbles around the wood and is all, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING. She just wants to make sure it doesn’t look like a little kid tried to make a table… um…yeah. Those letters. Looks exactly like something my six-year-old would bring home from kindergarten.

GONG!

Back at Engine 5, Sears shows up to deliver everything the team ordered: an elliptical trainer, a treadmill, a 30-inch plasma TV, a 50-inch plasma TV, a couch, a recliner and so forth. That is a ton of stuff, and the firefighters deserve it, but it might be hard to see individual design elements beyond all this stuff. That’s my major worry for this team, insofar as I have yet to hear Nina talk about a wall mural.

Back with the blue team, and the polyurethane hasn’t yet dried. In the meantime, everyone is trying to work on their signature elements. Casey is painting a large canvas of the silhouette of a fireman to provide color and interest to the room. Alex invents plastic shoes so that he can walk across the floor and get started on his project, the silhouette of the city skyline on the wall. Now, the judges may ding two silhouettes in one room, but I like the continuity.

Stacey, with the red team, is focusing on the personalization of the room by bringing in the number of the fire station. Courtland cuts out the number five that she glues to a brass circle, something to echo a brass lamp she brings in. Courtland then starts banging out a black-stained wooden entertainment center, his signature piece, wherein he nails the planks vertically on the wall: “I went with the wood element because it’s a very manly element. It’s rough, it’s tough, but yet it’s beautiful at the same time.” Oh Courtland, you poet.

The polyurethane has finally dried over at Squad 18, and Michael starts to attack his piece, a desk/TV/shelving unit. And as he’s rushing to get it built, he shoots a nail into his thumb. No, let me repeat that. HE SHOOTS A NAIL. INTO HIS THUMB. An inch-and-a-half nail shot about an inch into the top of his thumb. There is blood! GORE! There is an ambulance! Finally! You can’t really have a show about design without an ambulance, can you? What fun would that be?

Back with the red team, and Nina is talking about singular moments in art. And what is this? What? She’s creating functional wall art, a cork board cut into several squares that are nailed to the wall in the form of the words pride, commitment and service in Braille, to stress the things people don’t see in the work firefighters do. You guys, she’s doing a mural on a wall. This can’t be happening. Oh, but she went to art school and knows what she’s talking about. Do they teach self-awareness in art school?

Michael’s team steps it up, and Alex builds his project for him, even though every piece of wood is cut to the wrong size. They finish their room as Tom over on the red team paints the ceiling black to cover up imperfections. Another challenge complete. Another mural on a wall.

The judges walk through, and the blue team has created a bright, soothing space with well-planned furniture placement. I love the color of the walls, and again, I think the two silhouettes are perfect complements to each other. The red team’s space is very club-like with dark furniture, a dark ceiling and a dark wooden wall. I know which one is my favorite, and it’s not the one with the Braille on the wall.

They gather everyone together and announce the winner is… the blue team! YAY! And the designer who impressed them the most: Casey. They loved her fireman silhouette. Casey later admits Alex was instrumental in their win having taken over for Michael in a pinch. I have to say, I love this team work. This is how things should work when you’re forced to cooperate with other ideas. Excellent work.

The red team heads back to record their host presentations and then convene in front of the judges. Vern assures them the firefighters loved the space, and then the designers are given a chance to explain their design to Candice, who couldn’t be at the walkthrough. The designers cannot gush enough about how happy they are about the space, when Vern, I mean, THE HULK, informs them they turned in “a big fat zero.”

Uh oh!

He says the judges could barely contain their anger when they walked through the space, their disappointment was monumental. The firefighters liked it, yes, but it was mostly the stuff they liked. Vern can’t believe a group with that much talent produced what they did, and even goes on to say, “I wanted to vomit.”

Yeah, that’s never a good critique, unless you’re testing out different food poisonings.

The black ceiling? It made the room smaller and conjured dark emotional feelings. The black wooden planks? Hello, CHARRED WOOD. And the Braille art installation? According to Genevieve: “All I saw was cardboard put up like a bad eighth-grade craft project. No offense to eighth graders.” HEY-OHHHH! Nina also did a poor job in planning the space of the room. The recliner couldn’t even recline.

Bottom two: Courtland and Nina, deservedly. Nina’s host presentation seems incredibly tired, like she filmed it after studying all night for a test in Braille. It almost feels like she’s given up. And then Courtland’s is all IN YOUR FACE, full of energy, waving his arms all over the place, up and down, totally playing up the homeboy accent. A lot more awake than Nina’s. Like, maybe he’s had a gallon of coffee.

And the designer eliminated this week: NINA. They felt her energy had been sapped as well, and as she leaves the building she says, “I have a lot of charisma, a lot of personality and a lot of people can’t handle that. But in my life, in my world, I’m living in the Nina show.” Oh, you guys, I am going to miss her!

Heather Armstrong is a featured blogger for HGTV Design Star.