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Last year when I was pregnant with my second child Marlo and agonizing over the tiniest details of her nursery, I remember conducting random word searches on Flickr for inspiration and stumbling across this incredible arrangement of plates on a wall:


CC image courtesy of shareski on Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/shareski/2098598077/

That sounds a little menacing, doesn’t it? PLATES ON A WALL. Like you show up late to a meeting, your skirt accidentally tucked into your pantyhose, and you’re all SORRY! PLATES ON A WALL AGAIN!

That is going to be my excuse for everything now: The plates. On the wall.

I found that photograph and others like it so inspiring that I wanted to decorate one wall of the nursery with a delicate set of pink plates, an idea quickly squashed by my annoyingly logical husband. Breakable plates in an infant’s room? Did I really want to see my child bleed and possibly sever her carotid artery?

I guess there is a reason I keep him around.

So I opted for something much more infant-friendly, or so I thought. My first child Leta was such a sedentary kid and was never interested in outlets or dangerous cords. We never had to child-proof anything with her around because she was much more interested in deciphering letters and words. I mean, there we were at an amusement park waiting to ride a carousel when she turned to me and said, “Can we please go back to the hotel so that I can read my books?”

Is that not the cutest little geek ever?

I found a set of whimsical magnetic flower art that I installed in a dramatic flourish up and over the dresser in the nursery:


The dresser that I intended to use as the changing table, yes. You can probably see where this is going. Your jaw just hit the floor, I know. But you have to understand! If this had been Leta’s nursery she would have stared up at the wall, arms calmly at her side studying the intricate way the flowers seemed to burst forth from the wall! How mathematical!

But Marlo is no Leta. Marlo is very interested in touching and grabbing anything potentially fatal: glasses full of water, our phones, forks at the dinner table. How many times I have had to pry the remote control out of her fingers before she has swallowed it whole. Yummy, yummy channel changer!

And so this is what that section of the nursery looks like now:


Lesson learned: PLATES! ON THE WALL!


Design Inspiration

170 Responses

  1. Karen says:

    Ah, reality. Blank top so nothing gets kicked to the ground. Plain white pad because it's easier to wash. Butterflies missing, holes in the wall where they used to be. Now THAT'S a design job I can believe in.

  2. @lindopotts says:

    My boy is like Marlo. As I type this, he is pulling all my nicely color-coordinated books off the shelf. **le sigh**

  3. Brooke says:

    Heather you had like 400+ comments telling you what a bad idea this was. Oh but you knew better! We don't have a design show, but it didn't take much common sense just good parenting to know, that the flowers above her changing table were a horrible idea. Just like the pictures above her crib.

    HGTV this is not your voice, this is just awkward This entry should have been something Heather put on her website, because no where in here is decoration advice. Just Dooce doing what she does…whine and defect.

  4. Lissa Lander says:

    I saw how cute those flowers were when they were new, and felt sad for the cute flowers I had also put over the changing table (like a fool!). My daughter ripped them off as soon as she could sit up. Nice to know that even dooce can be thwarted (I just had to google that spelling… now to use it 3 more times today) by chic- design-eating children.

  5. Carol Seagrave says:

    You can save the look safely and inexpensively with the rub on graphics. I used to be involved with Uppercase Living but know there is another called Wall Words, etc.

  6. hope says:

    I loved the flowers over the changing table, and was also designing a nursery at the time. Luckily, I put up flower decals in a bursting pattern instead. While my 1st daughter also never grabbed, pulled, kicked, or ate inedible objects, my baby girl is the exact opposite so it was a fortuitous choice!

  7. wcd says:

    LOL! Poor little flowers. Maybe someday they can go back. Who knew. hugs!

    And dang, sue, chill.

  8. Kristen says:

    Is this point of this post supposed to be, "Be ye not so silly or stupid?" If it's not, I can't really figure out what the point is. Although, with some certainty in my opinion, I can tell you that it is not funny nor remotely interesting. Epic Fail HGTV.

  9. Karen says:

    We have those flowers above our bed in our bedroom. In earthquake country, they are the perfect solution to a lonely looking wall.

  10. ndmuse says:

    WHO are you?

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